Translation of a live broadcast speech, originating in Taipei from Pudu Master phoned to Xiamen listeners (Part 1), March 23rd, 2014.
文章建立於 2015/11/15
This article is a Thanksgiving Day Gift for my special American friend, Diane, and also for those who are willing to read.
It is translated from a Chinese article which was posted on the website (http://pudumaster.org/) on August 27, 2015. I am very grateful to Kelly and Angela, who worked to translate this article into English. I am also thankful to Billy, Gail and Hulian, who made additional efforts towards revising it. This article will be posted on the above mentioned website on November 15th 2015 with my best regard to Diane and her family.
I once said that I had a coworker named Diane who taught me English when I worked in Guam Memorial Hospital.
Do you remember?
(Audience: Yes, we do.)
I got in touch with her. Audience: Namah Amitabha. (similar meaning as “Thanks be to Lord” in Buddhist use.).
Many of you have heard about Diane. I am very grateful to have this American friend in my life. The first topic today is about her.
I worked in Guam Memorial Hospital (“Guam Hospital”) from 1975 to 1979. During those years, Guam Hospital had many patients who immigrated to the United States from Taiwan and were in need of translators. However, there was only one doctor, Doctor Chen, who came from Taiwan. The US State Department instructed Guam Hospital to recruit staff who should have a background in business, law, and medicine that were able to speak fluently in English, Mandarin and Taiwanese.
At that time, few immigrants were from Mainland China. Most of the immigrants came from Taiwan. There were approximately five hundred immigrants from Taiwan in Guam at that time. There are several thousand by now.
Guam Hospital had much difficulty finding appropriate candidates because people who applied were unable to reach the requirements.
At the time, I held a diplomatic passport (which meant that while I had diplomatic immunity, I did not have a work permit, although I was not prohibited from working).
In the early summer of 1975, there was a banquet being held by the Governor of Guam. The Superintendent of Guam Hospital approached the Taiwan consul and requested for help in recommending qualified people. The Governor’s wife smiled, pointed at me, and said, “Isn’t this the right person standing in front of you?”
After the US Department of State confirmed that I was allowed to work, the hospital invited me to take the entrance exam. I also took several different levels of placement examinations, so that the hospital could determine my position and salary within their organization.
At the same time I began working in Guam Hospital, is when Diane first entered my life.
She worked in the Human Resources Department and immediately began supporting my path.
She helped me a lot.
What were the positive influences she gave to me?
First of all, she taught me English, a language I had learned, but had rarely practiced.
There were very few good English teachers during the 1950s in Taiwan. My father loved to teach his children English. However, his English was taught to him by a Japanese teacher. Consequently, he spoke with a strong Japanese accent. If I followed his pronunciation, my school teacher would scold me. On the other hand, my father would scold if I did not follow his Japanese accent. Therefore, I refrained from practicing English, because no matter which way I spoke, it would be wrong.
Nevertheless, in Taiwan we studied English to prepare for the examinations, not for everyday use. This is why I did not know how to use many English idioms, phrases, and sentences when I first arrived in Guam.
At the hospital, I feared having to explain the Standard Operating Procedures (SOP) in English.
Employees of Guam Hospital had coffee breaks, 15 minutes in the morning, and 15 minutes in the afternoon. The employees could take turns, to get coffee and have snacks in the cafeteria.
Diane and I connected immediately, becoming good friends easily and very naturally. During the three and a half years we worked together, Diane and I spent time together at least one and a half hours per working day (Monday through Friday, one hour for lunch and 30 minutes for two coffee breaks).
During this time, I politely sought her assistance with my English. For example, if I wanted to express something in proper English, I would first translate it from Chinese. Then I would ask her how an American would say it. She would often think of the exact idiom for me to use.
There is a Taiwan TV (quiz) show called “The Golden Brain,” similar to the American show, “Jeopardy”. There was a quiz question yesterday, “What is related to ‘not three, not four’ [a Mandarin idiom, meaning indecent]”. The answer is “The I Ching”, also known as The Book of Changes.
This book explains the Eight Trigrams and Sixty-Four Hexagrams. These symbols are representations of naturally occurring processes. They represent movement and change. Each of the trigrams or hexagrams is frequently associated with a season, family member, animal, direction of the compass, personality, etc. Each hexagram is composed of six yáo(s). In the middle, lay the third and fourth yáo, which means integrity, loyalty, honesty, or a righteous path. If the layout of the hexagram is not right, we refer to it as being indecent. Saying “not three, not four” to a Mandarin speaker explains a lot. But not meaning anything if we say “not three, not four” to non-Mandarin speakers. What will they think? (Audience laughing…) It is an idiom to use “not three, not four” in Mandarin, yet it would make no sense for non-Mandarin speakers.
Many times with Diane, it would take me one or two minutes to describe the full context of the meaning that I was seeking. Diane then would use a very concise phrase that would express this meaning. Then I would look it up in a dictionary in front of her, and she would tell me the key words and phrases and explain the origin in Latin.
There are many English words of Latin origin, and some of the words are from Greek or Hebrew. Diane understood Latin so she would explain to me the meaning of Latin roots, prefixes, and suffixes. She also explained to me the reasons why some words are hyphenated, while others are not. Diane taught me many new words and idioms this way.
Every time when I learned a new word, she would ask me to use that word to make sentences for the next two or three days until I was used to using it. She was a great teacher!
In the process of teaching me English, Diane not only taught me grammar and usage of vocabulary, but also most importantly, “You have to think in English directly”. If you think in Mandarin and then translate what you think into English, you will always have a blind spot. I was encouraged by her to think in English ways, when I would speak or write in English, and to think in Chinese ways when I would speak in Mandarin (Chinese). This use and practice with those two languages brought me profound benefits years later, when I began practicing Dharma.
With endless patience, Diane was always working to correct my pronunciation. She told me, “You should open your mouth. Don’t hesitate to speak! I will correct you and you will improve”. This good friend never laughed at me. She always took my efforts seriously and with great patience, did not mind correcting me time after time! This is why I am so patient with my fellow Buddhists now, because I had Diane. And that is how she treated me.
For example, it took her an entire afternoon to teach me how to use my tongue properly, when pronouncing the “th” in “mother”. The very next day, she insisted on practicing with me until my pronunciation was good enough.
Even though people around us were impatient with our repeated practice, she continued to encourage me. Sometimes when I still did not get it, Diane would ask me to try again.
I sang a song “Try again” to you before. This is a good sentence, ʻ Try again’. When you tried over and over again and still being failed, ʻ Try again’. This will broaden your knowledge and make you courageous. Just brave it out. ‘Try again’! Do you remember this song?
(Audience: Yes, we do.)
My 1st grade teacher used that song to encourage us. It is still so fresh in my mind.
When I arrived in Guam in 1973, I was almost 30 years old and a diplomat’s wife. I can still remember the way she encouraged me.
If I pronounced the words correctly, used suitable vocabulary, and made no errors with the tenses, Diane would encourage me, “You did a good job!” She often used “perfect”, “fantastic”, “marvelous”, “wonderful” and other similar words to encourage me. Because of her support, I became more confident. I built a strong foundation in English at that time.
Secondly, Diane showed a great deal of care for me personally, treating me like a family member.
In the summer of 1975, my older brother, his wife and their two sons travelled from Japan to visit me in Guam. In order to let my brother know that I had good friends in Guam, Diane invited all of them, my ex-husband and myself to share a special meal in her home. She honored us with a formal American meal usually only offered on the Thanksgiving Day Holiday in the fall.
Diane told me that Americans only eat this turkey meal, once a year on Thanksgiving Day. It is the day that they show appreciation to God. It is a very special American holiday with very specific traditions, like eating turkey. Being invited to a Thanksgiving Day Meal is usually reserved for special friends and family. Preparing this meal for my family especially during the summer, truly demonstrated her friendship and care for me.
That was the first and only turkey meal in my entire life.
Xiou-xian, do you remember when L.Y. (Dr. Y’s younger brother) visited Xiamen from Beijing in 2011, I told Dr. Y that I wanted to entertain him and his younger brother L.Y. and all of your co-workers, for a dinner together?
(Xiou-xian: Yes, I still remember, master.)
Dr. Y thought I did not need to entertain his brother because he was still a college student. I explained to Dr. Y that I wanted to let his brother know that Dr. Y has friends in Xiamen. I did this to maintain Dr. Y’s dignity. I was touched in my heart by Diane and followed the model that she had shown to me.
There were other ways that Diane demonstrated support for me. The four people in my brother’s family, my ex-husband and I could not all fit into a compact car. So Diane drove another car with us, and gave everyone a grand tour of Guam. Diane’s support for me let my brother’s family know that I had earned respect and made good friends in Guam.
This is called friendly support. Most people do not understand this. I was fully aware of those details, so I knew that Diane and I had a deep friendship.
The third influence that Diane bestowed on me was most important; the positive influence of her ideology, ways of thinking and ways of being.
We used to go to the cafeteria daily. As an Asian, I was not familiar with those western dishes. The cafeteria did not only provide American food, they served French, Italian or Spanish dishes occasionally.
When I saw the French, Italian or Spanish dishes on the menu, I did not know what to order for my lunch. Diane would explain to me what those dishes were, but she never told me what to order. She would tell me ‘there are 4 different combos offered today’ and what was included in those combos. After that, she just left me alone and then went to get a cafeteria tray and order her food. I followed her, made my own decisions on what I wanted and was left to pronounce the menu items myself.
We never treated each other to a single meal. We went ‘Dutch’, so our friendship would last long. If we shared our food with each other, we would share the bill. If we did not share the meal, we ordered separately. There were many different kinds of desserts, such as tiramisu, pudding…, etc., served in the cafeteria. Some of the desserts I had never tried back in Taiwan, but they made me curious. I did not order because it was not only pricy but also the portions were very big. I could not finish it all by myself. When Diane saw me staring at one of the desserts, she would tell me that we could share, and then we would also share the dessert cost.
If you did not get approval by another party to share the expense and you ordered the dessert but eventually shared the food, you cannot ask another party to pay. Diane nurtured me with foreign culture. She helped me, taught me, inspired me and she asked me to speak out fearlessly and deal with it. But if I could not handle it properly, she helped me.
For instance, one time a waiter told me, “You need to wait three more minutes for the food you just ordered because it had to be heated by microwave”. Microwave was newly invented and I did not know what a microwave was. So I stood there with a blank look on my face. Diane came and got me to sit down. She told me the waiter would bring the food over when it was ready. This is how we interacted.
What I benefited most from her encouragement and support was to open my mind and express my point of view and my position. In Asia, people express their sentiments in a very reserved way. We are “used to confining ourselves and protecting ourselves in a circle”. We are afraid to express our feelings and our emotions. We cannot even express our thoughts and feelings. We are afraid of everything could be happened, the whole society is too conservative!
I once expressed to Diane how my cultural background influenced me in this regard. Diane advised that I should present myself without fear. She told me “You are so great.” Diane asked me, “Why do you hesitate? Why you dare not to show yourself?” I told her, “I was taught that this is the proper way to act”. She said, “No! Western education taught us to open our mind.”
Diane is the first person to encourage me to open mind before I began practicing Buddhism. Diane said, “Open your mind and try to blend in with the people and your surroundings. When you accept them, they will accept you as well”.
At that time, Taiwan was undergoing many changes diplomatically. As a diplomat’s wife, I viewed our organization as weak. Mainland China had a large organization with many people and resources. We had very limited human and financial resources to achieve our objectives. Therefore, it was difficult for us to execute our mission.
Diane told me, “You do not oppose others. You can express your standpoint. You can protect yourself but you should not retaliate. Reveal your charisma, and project your abilities but you do not harm others. For the other party who expresses aggression, you can choose to avoid them, rather than confronting them”.
Diane taught me, “You can speak out your love for your country and your home town. You have a responsibility to protect what you stand for. You can express your feelings freely but you do not hurt other people”. Every time she told me “To stand still”. Everyone is unique, so you should be brave and confident in expressing yourself. And when you are expressing yourself, you should be friendly and you do not hurt or take revenge on others. You let them know you are here, you are yourself, and you have your mission, in order to gain the respect from the other party. She told me her point of view is that she would rather have a respectable enemy than a weak enemy. Let the others fear and respect you not because of your hostility, but due to your personality, ability and wisdom.
The reason I am able to appear comfortable and able to get along with each party without contradiction (in the peaceful as well as difficult times) between mainland China and Taiwan, is due to Diane’s teaching and encouragement, from my time from with her in Guam. We are all Chinese and we speak the same language. Everyone has to try their best and be loyal to the organization they belong to. Although we work in different organizations and have different points of view, due to being born in different places, there is no personal hatred for each other. I do not need to hurt you but I do not want to get hurt either. We need to accomplish our individual missions, so we need to have an understanding with each other. In the end, we remain friendly to each other.
Isn’t it interesting? Over time, as I practice Buddhism deeply, I have a greater appreciation and understanding of the wisdom in the philosophies Diane imparted to me. There is an elder who calls me “the woman who has the most wisdom,” I am so honored to be called that. I replied to the elder “it is because the truth is wonderful”. We exchanged brilliant smiles. (Both Pudu and the audience are laughing in happiness.)
Over the past 30 years, when I have encountered adverse circumstances, especially something unexpected that I have difficulty accepting instantly, I can only tell myself to settle down, do not cry and react emotionally. I must bravely understand the situation around me, recognize my position and the dangers that I face. I need to then calmly stand firm. This is how Diane inspired me to act.
Diane is about five years older than I. Her daughter and son were about three and five years of age when she was in Guam. She left Guam in 1978 and I left in 1979. We did keep in touch after she left Guam but lost contact after I went back to Taiwan to give birth to my daughter.
My ex-husband took a lot of my friends contact information and I faced a dilemma. I did not want Diane to know that I was divorced. I thought my divorce was related to my country’s reputation and esteem. Therefore, I did not look for Diane.
Now I’m back on my feet, my thinking has become more stable and sound. The more I contemplate my existence, the more I keep thinking of people who were nice to me or who taught me things.
I looked for my school teachers and tried to payback something in return to them individually. Diane is a benefactor and a teacher to me. I want to care for her. I would like to know how she is doing and express my gratitude. I want let her know how I am doing. I want to let her know of the deeply enormous influence and impact she has had on me for almost 40 years.
Today, if there is any part of me that generates praise or receives friendship from you or allows me to share more substance from my heart with you all, then I credit Diane. She was among the builders of the foundation of my character.
I said that I had been thinking of looking for Diane for about 10 years. But I never actually took any action until I was in the USA earlier this year. My daughter and I tried to call every person named Diane (with her family name) that fit her age range, in the states of Hawaii, New York, Washington D.C and Michigan. Diane was busy attending many social activities and was not home, most of the time. We tried to call her 5 or 6 times and left messages to her voicemail.
One time, we managed to have a brief conversation. However, she was in a hurry to go out and thought I was a fraudster, so she denied she lived in Guam during 1975-1978. I was so excited when I heard her voice. Unquestionably, it was my benefactor. But she hesitated to admit she was the person I was looking for. I was very sad when I hung up the phone and especially disappointed because that day, I had to return to Taiwan.
The next day Angela received a call from Diane. Diane’s husband found some pictures of their family that included me. These helped Diane recall our friendship. Angela told me their conversation lasted about 30 minutes. She told Angela that she was so excited she couldn’t sleep.
Diana said she could hardly believe that we get in contact again after 36 years. She asked Angela if I was doing fine, or if I needed any help. Angela told Diane, “My mom is doing fine. She is a successful person now. She just wants to make sure everything is fine with you and your family. She wants to let you know what happened in the past 30 years. Mommy often thinks of you and she would like to give you blessings and return the favors”.
I want to share this with all of you, “Actions speak louder than words”. Some of you helped me to host my 5th-6th grade teacher in 2009. Most of you heard about my 4th grade teacher. At the same time, I am still looking for other teachers. Do you agree that we have to practice what we preach in order to be a good Buddhist?
(Audience: Yes, we agree.)
--The End—
The correspondence between Diane and me recently
Dear Diane and Harvey,
How is everything with you？ I miss you badly and have worked something for showing it.
I have been worked hard for my Master's hundred year old memorial activities for almost two years. His birthday was Nov.26, 1915.
I am leaving for Xiamen China on Oct. 9th. I will come back to Taiwan on Dec. 4th. Therefore, I send this article to you now and arrange to post it on my website on November 15th. Hope you like it and recall our beautiful memories in the days we were together.
Always love you and miss you,
Pudu (Betty )
2015.10.03
Dear Betty.
I had tears in my eyes reading your wonderful article about our friendship in Guam. I had no idea that our time in Guam had such a big impression in your life. You honor me with your words of love and inspiration. It brought back allot of memories working in Guam, at the hospital and all our luncheons together. Will you be traveling to California next year? If you are please consider flying to where I am and spending some time with us. This is a picture of our family only missing my grandson who will be 20 years old in November. We are going to Las Vegas this week for my son’s wedding.
Harvey had been consulting for construction companies since he retired 20 years ago, plays tennis, sailing and all social activities I get him involved.
I am still working part time as a travel consultant, a couple of women’s groups which are involved in charities, sailing, drama etc.
We both are happy, healthy and enjoying of life together, sharing with friends and family.
Took the whole family on an Alaska Cruise in July and that is where we took the picture.
Please keep in touch.
Much Love
Diane
2015.10.05
My dearest Diane, Harvey, and all of your family:
Please accept my sincere congratulations on your son’s wedding. It is so happy to hear you doing everything enjoying in your all life activities.
I do not have schedule traveling to U.S.A. in 2016, but can be scheduled in 2017. I will try to pay a visit on you in your city with my daughter Angela sometime in 2017 upon your convenience.
Angela is a very sweet and considerate person, especially during our difficult times.
As a priestess, I am very happy and feel peacefully in mind all the time, my services to the needed persons seems helpful and meaningful, I love and enjoy the lifestyle I am doing now.
Harvey is a wonderful husband to you and an unforgettable nice friend to me. Your friendship supported me in my mind through the hard days.
Please take good care of you and wish you have a very pleasant trip to Las Vegas.
With Best Regard,
Pudu(Betty)
2015.10.06
圖片來源:volvon.blogspot.tw
